September 11-15 2020 My goal for capstone is to expand the SMSA Tiger Center. Knowing that people are out there right now and they need help makes me even more motivated to start emailing schools to see if any of them would be interested in doing something within the Tiger Center. The bigger stressor right now is managing everything that is happening. I want to make sure that before the proposal is due I have everything I need for the capstone such as a mentor and research question that interests me. September 20, 2020 I got responses back from the elementary schools and both of them said they’d be interested in doing something but it would be difficult with COVID. This is really frustrating because COVID has impacted my life in so many ways that I thought at least during capstone it would not have impacted us so much. I do not take it as a setback though because there’s so much hope for this capstone. I know I will make this happen, even if it means I have to be patient. I think as of right now I’ll set away from the idea of working with the elementary schools and start focusing more on the middle schoolers at SMSA. I want to focus on them right now until more doors open up, which will most likely be in a couple of months.
September 21. 2020 Today was horrible, probably the worst day of capstone. I have had my idea set for capstone since I was a sophomore and COVID really impacted those plans. It is so disappointing and infuriating to me because this meant the world to me, helping people means the world to me. I feel like I have to back down from everything I really wanna do or it seems “to be a lot to handle” but I’m up for that challenge. This capstone is bigger than me, bigger than SMSA. It’s about helping people and making sure people in the community have a support system. My biggest fear is putting out something I am not proud of, that goes for this project, college essays and so much more. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I definitely am not giving up on this idea but I am hoping things go into place soon.
September 23, 2020 Okay, so I have been so focused on getting the capstone idea set and approval from Colon that I did not really think of anything until now. I hope to reach out to UCONN and discuss if they would be interested in helping out our Tiger Center. UCONN has a really good tutoring program. I also have thought more about how I will expand the Tiger Center and my first thought was to recruit younger tutors.I hope that this year or in the future that the Tiger Center expands beyond SMSA and out into the community. Helping and guiding students throughout all districts but right now, we are more focused within our own school. I think finding great kids that would be awesome tutors as freshmen or sophomores would be really essential. The sooner you start tutoring in my opinion, the sooner you get to learn strategies to help other students.
September 24, 2020 Today was a very exciting day, UCONN RESPONDED. This is very important to me because I know with their help I can be a better tutor and improve the center so much more. I believe that it will be easier to tackle issues because their tutoring center is such a success. Even though this is great news, it is frustrating that I have not been able to actually open the Tiger Center because I know there are a lot of kids that need help at SMSA. A lot of students used Tiger Center as a way to really understand their assignments and without that now, I’m nervous that a lot of kids are struggling. Over the weekend, I hope to schedule a meeting with the UCONN tutoring center so we can work side by side to see what we can do with the Tiger Center. The first major thing that I have to do within the center is a presentation on reliable sources. I am excited about this because it is the actual thing I can really help my classmates with but also I am skeptical that the online learners won’t get this information or won’t understand it and I don't really have a way of answering their questions one by one.
October 1, 2020 - October 7 2020 Being stuck on quarantine has been very difficult for capstone. I love being able to conference with my teachers because it makes it feel like I am doing something. The Tiger Center start up got approved thanks to Mrs. Svoboda and Mrs. Boutilier helping me. While it has gotten approved I hope to see more students take advantage of the resources that the Tiger Center offers. Last year we had a decent amount of students but I feel like that was easier considering school was in person for the whole year (until March). I have wanted to include my tutors more in the Tiger Center but the in person/remote schedule is very different. I realized time management is the most crucial part of this whole journey. My learning stretch was to time management but the more I invest my time into this capstone, the more I realize it is also leaning on others. Learning how to depend on my tutors and others around me is the most challenging thing at this point.
October 8, 2020 - October 14, 2020 The tutoring sessions I have had this week have been quick but very efficient. The student I have mostly tutored throughout this month works well but his attention span and motivation to do work is not there. This becomes very frustrating at certain points because I do not know whether it is me as a tutor or the student. This also makes me question how much work I have to do in order to become an even better tutor. During these days it has been hard to really do much because of how school has gone so far. I realized when previous students at SMSA stated senior year is easy, the students were referring to if you did not care. But I do, I care very much about being successful at what I am doing this year and to grow to become the person I want to be in June. I know I am not ready to leave high school behind, so I need to grow into the young women I want to be, the young women I envision. Expanding the Tiger Center is still in progress, what I envision is a closer bond between the middle school and high school. I hope the Tiger Center can be the first step towards this closer bond because the middle school and high school are very separated in my eyes. So much to the point where usually on a regular day, I do not see middle schoolers. But I believe building that connection will help with growth in the middle school and high schoolers will become more aware of who watches them. The expansion has not necessarily pushed to the middle school yet but I am not that worried. I plan on making a powerpoint slide or find an interesting idea to spread awareness of the Tiger Center.
October 17, 2020 - October 28, 2020 These are the days I am most proud of so far in my capstone. I got to take time and help a student who really needed a lot of help. The student had work that they were very behind on. The marking period ends this week and this is a major class so our full attention and motivation was towards these assignments. Overall this tutoring session was over five hours and it was worth it because we got most of this student’s makeup work done. Through this tutoring experience I get to see the potential and dedication that the students have as we go through their work. Being a tutor at times feels like carrying the burden of a whole other human. In reality it is that way because this person is depending on your help and guidance so they can improve, work harder or understand a concept. Having this much “power” of influence in someone else’s life is sometimes hard but these type of experiences make it worth everything. When I can tell from a simple facial expression or tone that the help I have given was appreciated and helpful; it just makes me very happy. I know I cannot help everyone but I will never accept defeat. I will always try to help everyone. I’ve always known I loved giving towards people but now I know how deep my gratitude goes, it’s endless.
November 1 - November 15 This is the first month where I started to tutor daily, it is becoming more of a routine at this point which I enjoy. I love tutoring as many people as I can but I struggle with a lot of people coming to the Tiger Center and I think this is due to students having a lot of pride but then again I think it reflects on me that I am not doing enough. I am proud of the process that I have made with the Tiger Center but itis not as much as I’d like. I hope to soon go to our middle school and personally deliver Tiger Slips so it does not seem informal. I feel like without the middle schoolers knowing a face it is just a blindspot that the Tiger Center exists towards them. While this has been good for the high schoolers it still does not sit right in my heart.
November 15- November 30 I have made progress towards presenting which is great because that is the only thing I am fearful of in capstone. The capstone itself is great for me because I knew how much of a hard worker I was. I knew that regardless of if we were going through a pandemic that the Tiger Center would be open for students. I believe I have not been able to really put myself out there and lack in presenting skills but that is something I will just have to work harder at. Aside from myself I really enjoy hearing and listening to my peers' stories, not only does it impact me but it makes me more cautious of being kind. I usually am not a mean person but after hearing about their stories and what is driving them to do their capstones, I have started to admire them. A lot of us have gone to the same school for seven years and I only realized now that we saw each other but never really knew each other. We did not really know the things that drove us, that motivated us. Some of my peers I knew absolutely nothing about and to hear them speak about their stories is very special to me. Capstone has brought out a lot of vulnerability for me as well because I am sharing my story without any context. What I mean by that is I am sharing this with all my classmates and even the judges without knowing how they will react to me.
December 1- December 15 The Tiger Center has taught me how to be more stern with myself and those around me. As a tutor there is going to be a time where a student is not motivated or tries to push more towards the negative like wanting me to give the answers or do the work for them. I have felt myself grow into a more resilient tutor. There are a lot of methods that I have used to ensure the success of the students I tutor but there are still some who have no motivation to do their own work. Most people would not look too much into this but as for myself I need to be the best tutor I can possibly be, that even means looking more deeply into how I can benefit a student more and be there for them. It frustrates me how a student would want to get handouts on schoolwork but not also take in account time and how much I have put forth because I see the potential of how successful they can be. I guess it could be taken as selfish on my part for thinking that a student would care about how much their tutor sacrifices for them but then again I am human. I have work and things I would like to accomplish in my day to day life. I only wish that more students will take advantage of being able to have access to a tutoring program. During the month of December I have not only reflected on how students manage their time but also how serious they take the Tiger Center. Tutoring does not just give the students at SMSA something, I also benefit as well. I’ve become a better writer and been able to deepen my understanding of writing techniques. This helps me process information in my own papers but lets me also be a better critic.
December 15 - December 30 The Tiger Center has been running steadily, I was very excited to get in touch with the middle school more so we can get the Tiger Center out there more. I feel like even with COVID things are still coming together. In the beginning of this year I struggled to know how exactly I would be able to pursue the Tiger Center. Once I found how passionate I was about it, I tried extremely hard to pursue and get the Tiger Center running. Now that it is finally at the stage it is at I have truly realized how worth it, it was to keep fighting. December has taught me most about resilience and staying strong. January 1, 2021 - January 26, 2021 I’ve taken time this month to reflect back on what I have gained from capstone. I have realized that even with the semester coming to an end I still have so much to learn and become more aware of. Capstone in the beginning was frustrating due to the feeling of nobody understanding. I wanted to reach so many people but I could not due to the restrictions COVID has put on the school district and whole world. With time I understood I could do so much within my own community here at SMSA. I have learned more about techniques and individuals in capstone than I have about myself. I have learned presentation techniques and I became more aware of my surroundings. I understand that all of us have come from the same place and are just as nervous as one another when it comes to presenting. This makes me feel more at ease about myself because I know that my peers on the same page as me. I've also become more aware about how to stand out in capstone. Putting myself out there and understanding that in return I'll get great advice and also great criticism about my project which is what I definitely needed throughout this semester. My favorite thing about coming to class everyday is knowing that people are there to critique me, people are there to help me grow even if they don't realize it. People have cheered me on and have become great support systems within my Capstone such as finding connections and also just being there for me if I feel like something isn't going with capstone. I wish that I could get to know more about myself. As of right now I always knew I've been a resilient person. I've always wanted to change the world and I've always wanted to do things on a bigger scale. Tutoring has impacted me since I was a sophomore because I enjoy changing but also helping people. When I talk about change, I talk about their motivation and how they see their work. I love when students are able to communicate how much they've changed and also how they have become more motivated to finish their school work. I also love helping students be able to pass their classes and also just as a support system in the tiger center. The only thing that I want to do more of next semester is being more involved with the middle school. This is something that I stress so much because it's such a big part of my project. I could go on in capstone knowing that I did as much as I could with the seniors but what about everyone else? I believe that the whole school deserves an opportunity to have a look at the tiger center because they're the legacy for it. This has dawned on me more and more as time is running out in the school year, who the tiger center will go on to. These students are the backbone and also the legacy of the tiger center and I want them to be as much as involved in it as I was. If I could have started the tiger center as soon as I was in middle school I would have joined immediately knowing the impact that it would have on so many students.
February 1, 2021- February 28, 2021 This month tutoring has been very productive. This has caused more of a positive impact within the Tiger Center and the plans to fully reopen by the school year. The goal that we have is allowing the actual center to run so that it is more accessible to students in person. So far the Tiger Center has been helping seniors throughout capstone. At the beginning of the year it was a tough transition from going to having resources to having none at all but with the school year taking a more positive route it has become easier to get more tutors involved. One thing that worries me is the idea of where the center will be next year. I believe we will have to recruit a lot of tutors just so it becomes easier within the next transition. The Tiger Center has been pushing me to problem solve and come up with creative ways to keep everything functioning. This makes me reflect on the beginning of the year because to be honest, I did not know how capstone would be able to function in the middle of a pandemic. But now looking back, we have gotten very far and made excellent progress especially within the Tiger Center and trying to expand it throughout SMSA. It makes me feel proud to know that the Tiger Center is becoming more known throughout the school.